Dating violence is repeated verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse used to frighten, hurt, and control a girlfriend or boyfriend.  It is a power play and may include:

• Not allowing them to go out with friends
• Telling them how to dress, act, or think
• Hitting or slapping
• Pulling hair
• Threatening to find someone else
• Name calling or put downs
• Not letting them make decisions
• Expecting them to apologize or cover for you
• Following them around
• Constantly criticizing them
• Jealousy
• Possessiveness
• Threatening suicide if they want to break up
• Accusing them of flirting
• Forcing sexual acts
• Talking them into going further sexually than they want
• Not letting them leave when they want
• Destroying letters or gifts
• Blaming them for violence

The Person Who Is Being Hurt May

• Be scared
• Feel confused that someone they love hurts them
• Deny or minimize the behavior
• Try to change their behavior to stop their partner's behavior
• Change the way they dress
• Give up or be cut off from their friends
• Start to lose self-confidence

The Person Who Is Being Violent May

• Make excuses for their behavior
• Think abuse is normal in a relationship
• Make threats
• Feel like they do not have control in the relationship
• Grow increasingly abusive over time
• Face criminal charges
• Be dropped from their group of friends

If You Are In A Violent Relationship

• Remember, you are not responsible for the violence—you cannot make someone hurt you, they choose to do it
• The abuse will happen more and hurt more without outside help
• Find someone to talk with about the abuse
• Think of ways you can be safe
• Recognize that sometimes it is dangerous to be with your partner, even though you care about them

If You Are Being Violent In Your Relationship

• No one can make you use violence—you are the only one who can choose to be abusive
• No one has a right to control or hurt another person
• Accept responsibility for your actions
• Find someone to talk to who can help you
• Remember, you don’t have to physically hurt someone to be abusive—think about all of your behaviors