Domestic Violence in Nebraska

Domestic violence—also known as intimate partner violence (IPV)—is a serious and widespread issue in Nebraska. Nearly half of the women and over a third of the men in our state have experienced it. These numbers represent real people—our neighbors, coworkers, and loved ones. 

Domestic violence doesn’t just affect individuals—it ripples across entire communities. The consequences are far-reaching. It can lead to housing instability, workplace disruptions, school challenges, health issues, and involvement with the legal system. To learn about the widespread impact of domestic violence in Nebraska, visit our statistics webpage.

Domestic Violence is Not Just Physical Abuse

Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used by one person to maintain power and control over another in a relationship. It can happen in any kind of intimate partnership, including dating, cohabitating, or married relationships, and can occur regardless of gender, sexuality, income, or background.

It’s about more than physical harm. Abuse can take many forms, including:

• Physical Abuse – Hitting, slapping, pushing, or using physical force to cause harm.
• Sexual Abuse – Forcing or coercing any sexual activity without consent.
• Emotional Abuse – Using insults, threats, intimidation, gaslighting, or manipulation.
• Financial Abuse – Restricting access to money, employment, or resources to gain control.
• Digital Abuse – Using technology to monitor, harass, or threaten.
• Stalking – Repeating unwanted attention that causes fear, including showing up uninvited, following, or excessive calling and texting.

Abuse is about control, not just conflict or anger. It can escalate over time and often includes periods of manipulation, guilt-tripping, or apologies between incidents. 

What To Do If You're Experiencing Domestic Violence

If you are experiencing domestic violence, you are not alone—and it’s not your fault. Help is available. You have options:

• Talk to an Advocate – A trained survivor support advocate can help you explore your options in a confidential, non-judgmental way.  
  • Contact your local survivor support organization to get started.
  • Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling at 800-799-7233, chatting online at TheHotline.org, or texting "START" to 88788 (see privacy policy; message and data rates may apply; text "STOP" to opt out).
• Make a Safety Plan – Planning ahead can help you stay safe, whether you choose to stay, leave, or do something else.
  • A variety of safety planning guides are available to help you get started.  
  • An advocate at your local survivor support organization can also help you plan for your safety.
• Know Your Rights – You may be eligible for legal protection, housing support, or workplace accommodations.
  • A variety of legal resources are available to help you get started.
  • An advocate at your local survivor support organization can also help you understand your rights and access support.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. 

Why Don't They Just Leave?

When talking about domestic violence, the question is often asked, “Why don’t people just leave abusive relationships?” This question blames the survivor for the abuse. It is important that we refocus responsibility where it belongs and instead ask, “Why doesn’t the person who is causing harm stop abusing their partner?”

Survivors face many complicated factors when experiencing domestic violence. Whether they decide to leave the relationship, stay in the relationship, or simply survive in the situation as they think things through, the barriers they face will affect the options they have and the choices they make.

Leaving an abusive situation isn’t simple, and it’s often dangerous.

• Leaving is the most dangerous time. Abuse often escalates, and many homicides occur when a survivor tries to leave or shortly after.
• Survivors know their situation best. They often stay because they’re calculating what will keep them safest, and sometimes, that’s staying.
• Leaving the relationship won’t necessarily stop the abuse. An ex-partner may continue harmful behaviors or try new abusive tactics, such as stalking, to maintain power and control.

Other barriers that survivors may face include:

• Emotional Abuse
  • Abusers often erode survivors’ self-esteem through constant criticism and emotional abuse.
  • Shame as abusers and society blame survivors for the abuse.
  • Fear that the abuser will carry out threats against the survivor, children, family members, or pets.
• Children & Family Pressure
  • Survivors may fear losing custody.
  • They may want to keep their family together.
  • Cultural or religious beliefs may discourage separation.
• Money and Resources
  • Abusers may control the survivor’s income, housing, or transportation.
  • Without financial support, many survivors face homelessness or poverty.
• Isolation and Lack of Support
  • Friends and family may not believe or support them.
  • Abusers often isolate survivors from support systems to keep them from accessing help or resources.
  • Survivors in rural areas may have no nearby shelters or services.
• Fear of Not Being Believed
  • The abusive person has told the survivor that nobody will believe them.
  • Marginalized survivors may face racism, sexism, homophobia, or immigration-related threats when seeking help.
• Legal System Barriers
  • Protection orders may not be consistently enforced, or the abusive person may ignore the order.
  • Survivors may fear or be uncomfortable contacting the police, or worry that the abuser will manipulate the system against them.

What helps survivors leave safely?

• Judgment-free support
• Safe, affordable housing
• Childcare and income assistance
• Trauma-informed services
• Culturally specific support
• Accountability for abusers

Domestic Violence Starts Early

Abuse often begins during adolescence (ages 11-19) and escalates as people enter adulthood. In Nebraska:

• 44.2% of women and 1-in-3 men face psychological aggression from an intimate partner for the first time during adolescence.
• 1-in-5 women experience physical violence from an intimate partner for the first time during adolescence.
• 1-in-5 men first experience unwanted sexual contact during adolescence.

When domestic violence occurs during adolescence, we typically call it “teen dating violence.” It is a serious issue in its own right, and it can lay the foundation for future relationship abuse.  

Domestic Violence is Preventable

No one is born abusive. People learn how to interact in relationships through the examples and messages they receive, especially at a young age. That means we have the power to interrupt the cycle before it starts.

Because we know domestic violence often starts during adolescence (ages 11-19), prevention and education must start even earlier. Teaching young people about respect, boundaries, consent, and healthy communication lays the groundwork for safe relationships throughout life.

Prevention also means:

• Addressing root causes like gender inequality, racism, and other forms of oppression that normalize control and violence.
• Shifting cultural norms that excuse abusive behavior or silence survivors.
• Building communities where people feel connected, supported, and safe enough to ask for help. 

Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violence

Survivors of violence are most likely to turn to friends, family, and partners for support. If a loved one discloses to you, it’s important to remember that they are the experts in their own lives. You can’t make choices for them, but you can support them, believe them, and ensure they have options.  

Do provide emotional support:

• Acknowledge that their situation is difficult and scary, and recognize the bravery it takes to regain control from such a challenging situation.
• Help them create a safety plan.
• Continue to be supportive of them if they do end the relationship and are understandably lonely, upset, or return to their abusive partner.
• Offer to go with them to any service provider or legal setting for moral support.

Do provide material support:

• Help them identify a support network to assist with physical needs like housing, food, healthcare, and mobility as applicable.  
• Help them by storing important documents or a “to-go bag” in case of an emergency.  
• Encourage them to participate in activities outside of their relationship with friends and family, and be there to support them.
• Encourage them to talk to people who can provide further help and guidance, like a survivor support advocate or therapist.  
• Help them access legal resources and learn about their formal legal rights.

Do not:

• Don’t judge their decisions, criticize them, or guilt them over a choice they make.
• Remember that you cannot “rescue them,” and that decisions about their lives are up to them to make.
• Do not speak poorly of the abusive partner.
• Don’t post information about them on social media that could be used to identify them or where they spend time.