Supporting Children and Youth Who Have Experienced Domestic Violence

The Nebraska Coalition works to build the capacity of our member sexual and domestic violence programs located across the state to provide services to children and youth. 

Exposure to domestic violence can have a significant effect on children and youth, with short and long term impact on physical, social, and emotional well-being.  By building the capacity of those who work with children and youth, we can help ensure children have what they need to heal and thrive in a community and environment which is violence free.

Serving Children

Children who are exposed to domestic violence may have varied experiences from witnessing abuse to being a direct victim of the abuse. The short and long-term physical, emotional, and psychological effects of domestic violence need to be addressed and support should be provided to the child to assist in the healing process. 

A few important things to remember when working with children:

• No one deserves to be abused: Explain to them that if someone is hurting them, or someone else, it is not their fault.
• Take the lead: It can be scary or uncomfortable for a child to bring up the topic of violence so try something like this to connect with them, “I care about you and I will listen to you”.
• Show Support: Acknowledge their feelings and their perceptions of the events.
• Do not put the burden on them: Placing stress on the child about custody, or discussing the violence should not be done.
• It is okay to ask questions or ask for help: The child may need help understanding the dynamics of domestic violence they are experiencing or exposed to. 

Resources - Supporting Children

National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma and Mental Health: 

• Supporting Children, Parents & Caregivers Impacted by Domestic Violence
• Tips for Supporting Children and Youth Exposed to Domestic Violence: What You Might See and What You Can Do
• Exercised for Grounding, Emotional Regulation & Relaxation for Children and Their Parents 
• Finger-hold Practice for Managing Emotions and Stress

Additional Resources:

• Childhood Domestic Violence Association
• Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE's)
• Violence Prevention: Using Evidence-based Strategies in Your Violence Prevention Efforts by CDC

Serving Teens

Many of the same survivor-centered philosophies we use to work with adult survivors hold true also in working with teens. Local sexual and domestic violence programs work on a daily basis with teens to provide support, education, and resources so they can have healthy, happy, and safe relationships.  By making services available to teens they can gain access to opportunities for safety planning and gaining resources so they are able to gain more control over what is happening in their lives.

A few of the important things to remember when working with a teen:

• No one deserves to be abused: Explain to them that if someone is hurting them, or someone else, it is not their fault.
• Help them identify supports: Help the teen identify supportive adults/peers in their lives. 
• They are the expert of their own lives: Ask questions about what they want.  Listen and help support their autonomy.
• Use their preferred method of communication: Communicate with teens in the way they like to communicate with you.  Ask them how they would like to stay in touch (Facebook, texting, email or other platforms they prefer). You can discuss any safety implications and limitations of the mode of communication and create a communication plan to move forward.
• Be honest: Let them know your duty to report abuse and neglect and explain how that process works if you do need to report to the proper authorities.

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